The Bad Guy:
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 Part 3: Later that evening...
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 Finally at home I decided to enter the door to my house. Entering the
door somehow seems a lot better than climbing in the window. People
get less suspicious if you enter through the door than through the
window. I personally don't see the difference. They're both entrances
to the same building. If a bird flies in the window people don't think
that any thing's wrong with the bird. The thing that really bugs me is
that birds can't talk. If a person can't talk, there's something wrong
with the person but birds get away with it. Man, I really wish I was a
bird. Then I could enter buildings through the window rather than
having to enter the door. Stupid doors.

 Anyway, I entered the door and went inside. Yes, I did both at the
same time. Entering the door, and entering the building. It's like
they're linked. Kinda like how bad guys are always the criminals. Why
is it that way? Why can't good guys be criminals too? It's just not
fair. I wanna be a window entering criminal but I can't cause I'm a
good guy. So, I did the next best thing: I became a detective.

 Being a detective is cool. You get to solve crimes and await the day
you can crawl into a window without people thinking you're weird. You
get to find out about bad people and stop them before they commit
their diabolical plan. Speaking of diabolical plans, I wonder what
that one girly guy with the paper bag is up to. He's really quite the
mysterious man.

 *Ring Ring.* The telephone rang.

 If you value the life of your wife and children, you'll listen to
me," said a spooky voice on the other end. I hung up because I don't
have a wife and kids. Stupid people prank calling me. I'll bet they're
the reason I have to enter doors.

 *Ring Ring.* The telephone rang again.

 "Dude, this is the last time I'm warning you."

 "Good!" I said. I hate these prank callers. They're almost as bad as
telemarketers. Stupid telemarketers trying to offer me lower rates on
long distance. If I wanted long distance, I would buy it. I don't need
to be told of it's existence.

 "...and so if you don't comply, there will be trouble. You
understand?" *Yeah, I understand that you need to speak more clearly.*
Some idiot.

 "No, could you repeat that please?"

 "Hey, don't mess around with me kid! You better not cross me again or
you'll get it FOR SURE! Just don't mess with me, okay?" *Click*. The
phone hung up. Must be that I need better phone service. Those guys at
the telephone company are always messing with my phone. But then
again, why should I complain? It was just some stupid prank caller
anyway.

 Leaving the phone, I decided to make some supper. What to eat was the
big question. It's questions like these that set our days apart from
each other. These types of questions are what make up the differences
in our days. I mean, how boring would life be if you had the same
thing every day? It would be extremely boring. I mean, you might as
well always sleep on the same bed every night instead of having two or
three different shaped beds. Cause, that's what it'd be like if you
ate the same thing every night for supper.

 So, I put my hand into the fridge and pulled out some ketchup.
Ketchup is a good thing to keep in the fridge, you know. It's the
foundation of condiments. Without ketchup, you could have no potatoes.
Without potatoes, however, you could still have ketchup. It's just one
of those types of things.

 I decided to get a potato as well. Potatoes are great. One time, I
saw a sign that said "Killer Potatoes for Sale." I saw that sign just
a week or two after seeing the movie, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
I didn't know what song I should sing to the potatoes to make them not
kill me, so I decided to not go to that stand. I don't want to be
killed by a potato.

 Anyway, I decided to have a baked potato with ketchup. Come to think
of it, why am I telling you this? This has nothing to do with
anything.

 So... um... where was I before I... oh yeah, the phone call. Upon
further reflection, I decided to investigate that phone call. Maybe it
wasn't a prank call after all. Maybe it came from the guy with the
paper bag. But why would he think I have a wife and children? I mean,
I've never had any luck at all with the women. Never even had one
girlfriend, come to think of it. The women just never really cared for
me. They would say nice things about me, but that's it. Kinda
frustrating. But, such is the way of life.

 Well, I thought some more about that phone call, but I didn't know
where to start. Figured I'd just worry about it tomorrow when I got
back to the office. But little did I realize, that would be a big
mistake.

 *Read [Part 2](badguy2) or go on to [Part 4](badguy4)*.

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 |FrillerWorks| <- I wish I had one of those cool circular beds
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